The average person spends 11,862 hours in the bathroom — which equals one year, four months and five days — in a lifetime. It’s amazing the crapper, or as some say, “the toilet,” has evolved so little since the Romans invented the latrine in 2500 B.C., with the most significant advance happening when Albert Giblin, an employee of Thomas Crapper, perfected an effective flush toilet in 1898. The days of emperors and queens have ended, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve your very own bathroom throne.
Fear not, boring toilet victims! Thanks to Roto-Rooter, the ultimate toilet now exists. They’ve developed a customized, one-of-a-kind throne; a truly “Pimped out John,” designed to fulfill all of your wildest bathroom dreams.
Roto-Rooter’s “Pimped out John” is outfitted with every feature a modern king or queen could want in a bathroom throne, and underneath all of the trappings, is a superb Kohler toilet. This amazing commode is fully loaded with the following “luxury enhancements”:
- Philips 20-inch LCD TV and Star Wars DVD
- Xbox 360 gaming system
- Philips DVD player
- Gateway EMachineâ„¢ laptop computer with fully articulated robot arm
- iPod with stereo docking station equipped with toilet paper dispenser
- Roto-Rooter “emergency” button
- Tivo recorder
- Avanti refrigerator with beer tap, stocked with drinks and snacks
- Magazine rack and subscriptions to Sports Illustrated, ESPN and GQ
- Bike pedal exerciser
- Cup warmer / cooler
Al Bundy would be proud!
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Posted by rbx6jm7man
wow…. i’m speechless
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Posted by David
Taking a crap never felt so more like home.
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Posted by vm3z9
the only thing missing is someone giving a nice shoulder rub
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Posted by heartofjosh
Brings new meaning to “MASTER OF MY DOMAIN!”
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Posted by interpol
How will i ever concentrate on actually taking a crap?
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Posted by haz
geek won’t even leave the bathroom now
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Posted by beni
thats funny, i would like a list of people who bought this…
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Posted by David
You know what I wouldn’t mind as an extra feature, maybe a butt warmer during the winter :P
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Posted by rbx6jm7man
i think the butt warmer is the only thing that would be a worthwhile investment for the toilet. don’t you just hate sitting on the pot when it’s icy cold?
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Posted by AllaN
Wow, If I had that toilet, I wouldn’t be in the washroom for just 1 year four months and five days, Id probably be in there as much as im on the computer + my tv time O_o
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Posted by David
I know all the tech features are cool in all, but a butt warmer? its the most handiest feature you can get when it comes to a cold toilet. Definitely hate it when the pot is really really cold.
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Posted by GameDudeX
It’s been a while since the world has seen “Great Minds” such as Einstein, Beethoven, and Kipling. The reason why? Because the “Great Minds” of today are forced to waste their brain power developing crap like this for chump change while the businesses themselves make all the profit.
Imagine what this group of people could’ve done if they were used to developed some kind of device to help some group of people with some kind of handicap or impediment.
Just my $0.02
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Posted by channer
haha those are some pretty neat ideas, although having food and drinks in there is probably a no no.
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Posted by Dexter Kanuto
When you say, etiquettely, that going to WAR meant goin DIRTY, then that means that it’s no HELL, if you have a comfort of heaven beneath your buttocks. King Henry will like the idea, though he preferred pine leaves as toilet paper, maybe he needs a little pampering like this beauty. I’m quite sure, you’re campaign inside your own domain will be successful. But let me warn you, the essence of nature (ehem smell of the crap aroma) will never go away. I suggest mint type deodorizer or something like that can pair the Einstein of all lavatories. Smile on your faces and prepare to grin away the pain of ‘letting go’ and experience the serene and joy of gadgetries offered at your command. May you be successful however, the lifespan of “toilette” may not go as far as the stuff-of-doom will go. Expect centuries or lightyears of ecstacy, but technology soon will move on to UPGRADE the current invention.
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Posted by Dexter Kanuto
It’s the twin of that robot from LOST IN SPACE.
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Posted by Dexter Kanuto
they should have like this in an airplane. man the airplane’s toilets sux. it’s not toilette to toy on, it’s bloody disaster. my behind hurts in their minute seating placement.
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Posted by BEAUTYY
I classmate of mine in my industrial design program designed a product for jokes called the iPoop. It was pretty lame I had to say - An iPop deck/toilet paper dispenser. I guess his idea wasn’t so farfetch’d now that it actually exists.
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